Living by Default

Nobody Panic!

2006-10-11T15:43:00.000-04:00

I HAVE MOVED THIS BLOG TO A NEW SITE.
PLEASE CLICK ON POLYMAN3 IN LINK FEILD TO LEFT.

Conflict.

2006-10-03T14:44:00.000-04:00

It is a conflict of sorts.
Left vrs right
Black vrs white
Right vrs wrong.
We always seem to be at odds
with ourselves or someone
or something.

More times than not
It is with ourselves.
How do we make
the decisions we make?
How can we make
the right decisions?

I am usually at odds
with myself....and I feel
I am not alone.

Not alone.

But are you with me?
or against.
then in that case,
I would be at odds
with you.

...And Lord knows
I don't need to piss off
anymore people. .........

------------ Thank You.

.We are all individuals

with our own agendas

They say; "variety is the spice of life,"

but it is also a source

of conflict

amoung couples

families

neighbors
countries

We just can't seem to get along.

--------Can we?

LIKE A BAD RASH

2006-09-20T17:45:00.000-04:00

I am back

and complete
in my new
Beta format

bigger &

Better

It is a

metamorphsis

of sorts...

Yes, don't worry

I am still

the same old

fun-loving lusty

GRUMPY old

devil-may-care

Poly

you've grown to love.

and hate...

Another side of Poly (& HNT)

2006-09-13T21:01:00.000-04:00

Whoever I stole this from...thanks

Things that scare me:
Losing my family, losing my hair, losing my independance (already lost my mind),
drowning, bad car accidents, midnight phone calls, dentists, lawyers, crazy people with knives,
myself sometimes.

People who make me laugh:
My wife, my kids, Polyfriends, George Carlin, O & A show, Robin Williams, people that take themselves too seriously, clowns, myself.

Things I hate most:
Pretentious people, people who think they know what's best for me, rude drivers, cheapskates,
lazy people, bigots, religious right and other extremists, people that hide behind the flag, people that think the world owes them, liverwurst, most fish dishes & things that live in shells, slasher movies, myself sometimes.

Things I want to see/do before I die:
Europe, my kids married or at least settled in and comfortable with who they are,
a President elected who is progressive & really wants to help the world, Bin Laden come to justice, mankind actually live in harmony with nature, peace in the world, like to ride a motorcycle cross country, take a day long hot balloon ride.

Things I can do:
Talk in front of large crowds, play guitar, Karate/Jujitsu, Tai Chi, construction, see humor in almost everything, make people laugh, talk intelligently on many varied topics, learn new things

Things I can't do:
Work on cars, mathematical calculations, be something I'm not, Cook more than 3 things at a time, go back in time.

Ways to describe my personality:
Funny, weird, sincere, charming, stubborn,

Things I think you should listen to:
Bob Dylan- Blood on the tracks, Your parents, policemen, your heart, me.

Things you should never listen to:
Anyone who thinks they know what's best for you, anyone in government that says their not a crook, conservative radio talk shows, anyone who tries to scare you into doing something, me.

Things I'd like to learn:
To fly an airplane, how to make money without working, how women really think, Italian, myself.

Favorite foods:
Pizza, Chinese food, lasagna, Eggo's waffles, peanuts, peanut butter, chocolate (For Jin), stuffed chicken, onion soup, tomato soup, vegetable soup, Greek food, most fruits & veges, punta.

Beverages I drink regularly:
Homemade mix of unsweetened tea/green tea, water, orange juice, coffee, scotch, vodka.

Shows I watched as a kid:
Micky Mouse, Popye Howdy Doody, Hawii 5O, 3 Stooges, Laurel & Hardy, Twilight Zone, Alfred Hitchcock, Monkees, Lost in space, Munsters, Adam's Family, Laugh-In, all in the family, Dark Shadows, Star Trek, My own life.

Happiness, Hugs & Desire,

Poly Beta

BeTA boNe

2006-09-08T16:46:00.000-04:00

I'vE gONe BeTa;

I cAN'T COmMeNT On aNYone's BLog.
TheY sAY THeiR WorKinG oN IT.

We'Ll sEE......
So I'll Be pOStinG As POLY BETA.
LaTER.
xxx

Chemistry

2006-09-05T15:55:00.000-04:00

It is body
electric

it is a

chemical reaction
deep

inside.

outside,

the air

thick with

pheromones...

& moanes

++++++++++

sweet succulent

kisses & intense

inexplicable..........................................................................................PLEASURE.

That starts

at the tip

of the toes

and creeps up

the legs into

the spine

and rockets

THROUGH THE BRAIN.................X-PLOSION

of all senses

triggering

a release

of

chemistry.

Still in da funk...but getting better

2006-08-30T11:18:00.000-04:00

7 straight days of rain,
had to delete my current posting
because of technical problems,
feel like shit-
but I think
I'm getting better,
had to up my meds.

da funk

2006-08-22T13:25:00.000-04:00

Oh no,
I'm in da funk
again.

I feel my life

has become

a pathetic parody to which I am only a

minor
participant.

orchestrated by

...others

and I'm not right.

I AM BEYOND HELP.

"AARRGG!" I scream out loud

========================================

The children turn away

from the TV

and look toward

their mother

as if to ask

with unspoken words:

What is the matter with Daddy?

She puts down

her magazine and

turns to me

in concerned exasperation

(as if thinking, here we go again)

and asks:

"Honey, what is the matter with you now?

Is everything all right?"

Her voice vibrates in

my skull like

a steel balls

downward spiral

in a

metal funnel.

..........................................................................................................................................................................

I think;

"No,

I am not all right..."

I am angry...

I am shackled

by my own

aspirations;

and sometimes I loose it,

have lost it,

too easy,

my rant. (Blogger talk)

Sob;

Anyway,

I tell her;

I don't feel like talking anymore.

I am bored with the sound

of my own voice

and am going

to bed.

Idiom in fatuation

2006-08-14T00:50:00.000-04:00

Neither fish, nor flesh, nor good red herring.

I am enthralled,

and she has captivated me

completely.

And I am as weak as a kitten.

But I will rise

to the occasion,

and I will be on

the up and up.

Like nobody's business.

................************.............

She comes to me

on the wings of an angel.

Reveals herself through

the drunken haze

of a dream.

That suggests
to me that
things

aren't what

they seem.

..................
Neither hide

nor hair,

and
like a hen on

hot griddle &
mad as a
hatter.

But, there's more to it
than meets the eye.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Do we see eye to eye?

Do I place her on a pedestal?

Or do I fly in the face

of love?
. .

I do think
she is one
in a million.
so for all intents
and purposes,
I will stay
for I do know
my own mind
and boast
of willpower.

...and I stay
because she
is
a mystery to me.

Poly doesn't wear Prada.

2006-08-02T12:22:00.000-04:00

It's as if
what you wear
defines
who you are.

While

the whole world

is a stage

and you are

the actor

on your debut.

Stepping out

of the shadows

in designer clothes

and trendy jewelry.

* * * * * * * ^
Are you influenced

by the hype around you?

Do you make

a big splash,

a fashion sense statement

like a red carpet mannequin?

In a world gone

fashion crazy.

Are you influenced by

the multicultural

glamour designing

gurus and image makers?

...and do you care?

Repression

2006-07-24T14:41:00.000-04:00

It is a place that fascinates us from an early age.

and remains with us most of our life.

It is a place so intense that we are often ruled by it.

***********************************************************

We call ourselves free, except when it comes to sexual matters.

There, we are greatly restricted.

Schools that should be teaching sex education buckle under pressure from

concerned citizen groups.

Even in the privacy of our own homes,

we are watched under suspicious eyes.

and TV & Radio producers are fined and pressured

as to the content of their shows if it is considered too racy for sensitive

moral-minded American audiences.

****************************************************

Many medical professionals, doctors, physiological, and philosophers

extol the benefits of sexual liberation

and its benefits to society.

They are often defamed

and defunct by political and religious zealot leaders

on the grounds of morality and

family values.

As a result of sexual repression, our society experiences

an increase of frustration, stress and

emotional instability.

And we hear of numerous violent sex crimes

committed by perps and pervs as a result of intense and

long term suppression of sexual desires.

***********************************************************

Some studies have shown a decrease of such crimes

as much as 50% by societies who have legalized

pornography or other forms of sexual gratification.

So, why are we so pent up?

...and the angels weep.

2006-07-17T20:21:00.000-04:00

Frightened beyond recognition.

Tears well in panic-strained eyes
as planes roar overhead

dropping thunderous deadly cargo.

Blinding flashes strobe-light the eerie blackened horizon

Burning wasteland.
godless pay dirt.

They are the warmongers

and the bearers of hell.

This is their recipe for victory.

Cry for all humanity

and the waste of life- not so precious

that they take it as their birthright
to annihilate

at will.

A letter to George

2006-07-10T14:55:00.000-04:00

"Hey George, Have you found Bin Laden yet?

Boy, we are in one fine mess-

A quagmire, it seems.

We can't stay and

we can't go.

and we are up to our ears

in shit.

Iraq is a shooting gallery,

and now we are caught

in a civil war.

...and we must fight.

...and there is nowhere to run.

...and the bodies keep piling up.

What to do...

Afghanistan, Iran, Somalia, North Korea...

Such world class problems, with no clear-cut answers.

Oh George, How kind will history be toward you?

You are so distracted by world politics

you forgot about us.

We are being overrun by illegal immigrants,

raped by your friends in big oil,

having our jobs exported,

while our seniors go homeless,

our young unable to afford a home,

and we are all taxed to death.

"You know, I don't like to get political, but you forced my hand...

I pity those who voted for you and your cronies, for you have let them down. I, on the other hand, never had high hopes for you and sad to say, got what I expected.

Is there now no one in politics to oppose you and your delusional sheltered frat-boy rich-boy cow-boy view of the real world and the dangers we face? Will no one come forward?"

In God we trust,

help us in our hour of need.

Sea Food

2006-07-06T10:52:00.000-04:00

"Can I turn around now?"

The struggle in my mind ( my promise)

2006-06-19T16:17:00.000-04:00

It's all an Illusion.

What is real and
what is not,
and all the spaces
in between,
in shades of gray and
black and white and
oh, there I go again.
I need to take something
to bring me back
to reality.
My mind is in
a bad place.

I long for diversion and excitement.

"I fear I have grown stagnant,"

he said, eyeing the thick rope draped across the chair

and then the overhead beam.

He took a long toke of the joint and exhaled slowly.

There was a time when you would dance before me

naked

with your long hair shimmering

in the moonlight and

I would take you in my arms and

kiss your lips so gently.

So young, sweet innocent eyes trusting my words...

my intentions, my promise;

"How I love you,"

...and you gave yourself to me totally
willingly.

I have never betrayed that trust.

...and yet,
from time to time
a passing thought
a fanciful fantasy causes me
to struggle with questions
of right and wrong,

and the temptations that besiege me.

because I am a man
and I will not yield.

Nor will I harm you

or myself,
nor damage what

we have built together,
for 20 years

for a whim.

Life's a beach

2006-06-12T14:49:00.000-04:00

Nobody's perfect,

but why do we have to be subjected to it?

It is what they dangle in front of us in place of happiness.

2006-06-05T20:50:00.000-04:00

Poly in the sky, with donuts-

Where is meaning?

HEADLESS BEHIND A GLASS

2006-05-31T21:15:00.000-04:00

i am pure thought,
turned
toward you.

2006-05-21T19:59:00.000-04:00

I miss you all...your all in my thoughts
xxx

Sorry, my friends I will be away for a while...take care.

2006-05-12T13:34:00.000-04:00

For The Love of Money.

2006-05-04T00:31:00.000-04:00

The heart of
all good,
and evil
that makes the world
go round,
and round

Like a dog
chasing
it's tail.
It is what
drives us
to do
what we do;

good or bad.

...and we can never

seem to get enough of it!

"Psssst! ...What if someday,

in the near future, we
run out of our bling? "

What will we do

when we're all
dried up?
resources all
gone...

and depression sets in?

But, humans truly are such a cool people...

In spite of lying cheating stealing

raping and murdering each other for
capital gains
and religious beliefs,

we truly are a benolevent species...

"Hey Poly- How's it hanging...? "

"Ah, GO FUCK YOURSELF!! "

We never learn,
do we?...

...BUT YET WE Strive
for something...
anything...
to say
we've been here..

Pssssst,
Poly's been here- X

Sex is good.

2006-04-24T15:04:00.000-04:00

Sex is good.

Blogging is good for airing repressed

sexual thoughts and feelings.

Do you think Adam & Eve enjoyed more

than an apple together?

It seems there was an awful lot

of begetting in those early days
to populate the world
the way they did.

I did my part,
I begat all I could
in my early years.

How about you?

Any sowing of wild oats

on your farm?

It seems it's a rite of passage.

You know, the mating game,

hormone levels and shit.

Sex is natural;

No artificial ingredients,

additives, preservatives
food coloring, Viagra needed.

I feel sorry for those
who don't get it.

Can you imagine

Laura & George B.

in the sack?

Well, they did it at least
twice.

It must have been nice
and repressed.

Oh Poly- Don't start getting all political...
Let's just stick

to Sex...

Oh behave!
I mean love-

and sex;
not just dirty old
hog sex.

Sueee!

but love, with feelings and
the need to share pleasure
with someone special;
To put the rest of the world
to rest, and be human,
a mammal,
in the natural process of
procreation

and especially because
it feels
so damn good;

How could it be bad for you?

Pressure of Life

2006-04-17T21:25:00.000-04:00

You can feel it
at the
base of your brain,

a dull throb,
an unending
painful pulsing
throbing headache.

Banging away...

but as serious
as a heart attack............................................that WILL NOT GO AWAY!

and there is a knocking at the door
and the phone is ringing and
the baby is crying and
you just want to
go back to bed
and start
all over
again.

It is the Pressure of life. holding us down
like gravity
Keeping us grounded
day after meaningless day

Oh, come on-
don't be so damn
self-rightious!
You have thoughts
also...

...and feelings
admit it!

and don'tcry;
"I'm so confused..."

Cause I got news for you, sister- we all are;
and we all have headaches.

There I said it.
and I feel better now.
The pain is subsiding,
for the moment.

Lets talk about you.
You know,
I could be an ax murderer or
something bizzarre, you
never know- do ya? but
after all-
let's all,
just be friends.

Right about now-
if you've stuck it out this far,
your probably wondering;
Hey! What's the fucks up with Poly?
Has he really lost it?

And I will answer most affectionately,
Hey! this is me when
I'm feeling most happy,
I miss you all.

Woman

2006-04-13T02:00:00.000-04:00

I am her creation.

Molded and formed from an image,
born of a woman by the act of giving
that one final push that thrust me out
into this cold disquieting world to fend for myself, while
all I wish to do is crawl back into,
the sanctified womb, of the flesh
that is woman.

I need to feel...absorb
all that is the essence
of female.
In my mind, my body, my spirit;
I need... therefore, I strive
for the sanctuary
of her very being,

Skin on skin.

To experience the closeness,
I long to be inside her; losing myself
in the silky softness of that, which is her.
The smell, the taste, the feel of her body under mine
swaying to some primitive mesmeric rhythm.
The rush of sexual energy coursing through our bodies
crashing in waves

of exquisite ecstasy

She is an enigma to me.
I am in awe of her beauty,
her strength, her gracefulness,
and her extraordinary sexuality
which enthralls me...
and all that is her
in this
simple complexity
is woman

This and That,

2006-04-06T13:15:00.000-04:00

I like to be babied,

I like when a woman

puts her arms around me

and cuddles up
real close

telling me everything

is going to
be all right.

I have an
unsatiable thirst

for milk,
at times

I envy the insane for

their not capable

of being
held responsible

for their actions.

Sometimes, my computer

hates me and refuses to function.

At times, I feel that

it mocks me

in my inferiority.

Someday, I will have to

unplug it
and watch

in delightful
ruinous detachment

it's light dissolving

to critical
black.

My Mother-in-law

dislikes me. She blames me

for her own failure

and the near poverty

of her life.

She knows her daughter

could have done

so much better,

with a man that

would revere her

as the queen mother

she is.

You know,

you wouldn't know
to look at me,
that I am
getting happy
once again,
and it seems that
this
ugly winter's

well-intentioned
mock-heroic
suicide alert
has been cancelled...

for the time being.

Thank you

for watching.

Letting It All Out

2006-04-03T00:27:00.000-04:00

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

That's right folks-
I'm off my fucking rocker!
I'm back and crazier than ever-
but who gives a flying Fuck?

It's busy, busy season
back at the store
and we're crankin!

Had an altercation
with a cocky contractor yesterday-
I was within inches of
sending him off to meet his maker.

You know- fists shaking
with fucking adrenalin-
waiting to connect and
all he had to do
was push one more button
and BAM!
but I think he
got the point that
I wasn't kidding
before fisticuffs, anyway
I am the manager...

Oh well.
You've probably noticed
that I'm getting
a little more
personal lately-
Anyway, what the hell!
Life is short,
and were among friends.

I figure I'll just
let it all
hang out. Well...
maybe not all-
don't want to
embarrasss myself
anymore
than I have to.

Been a little unplugged
these last few days,
so please bear with me, these next few months
are sure to be
heavy
(there's that 60's word again)
and I 'll try
my damnedest
to keep up
with all my friends.

Miss the old gang,
thanks for stopping by
and suffering through
my recent
boring ass tag-
sorry,
I hope you weren't
expecting too much
from old Poly.

Love Ya.

A-Z Tag , All about mwa

2006-03-28T21:40:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Becky
(Bless her heart, she had faith in me)

Accent: Long Island, NY ish or so they say.

Booze of choice: Dewers Scotch. I've just developed a taste for it. Had it on the rocks at a Xmas party and the taste reminded me of something. Finally remembered; my mom used to dab it on my teeth when I was a little teething Poly.

Chore I hate: Raking leaves.

Dog or cat: Dog.

Essential electronics: Car radio/CD, House radio/CD, Ipod, Computer!!!!

Favorite cologne: Just a light after shave cream from the Dead Sea, or whatever hasn't gone bad in my cabinet from disuse when I go out. Something manly smelling.

Gold or silver: Silver.

Hometown: East Islip, LI, NY: Have lived all over NY State. Once- 11 places in 10 years.

Insomnia?: From time to time. Had it bad when I was running my own Co. A few yrs back.

Job Title: Present- Branch Manager for irrigation and landscape lighting store.
I was a busy night club & party DJ for 20 years while working in electronic parts sales during the day. Ran my own Electronic Parts Company for 8 years, then closed it after 9/11 with $400,000 in the red & paying it off.

Kids: Girl 12, boy 7. Maybe a few more scattered about NY from earlier carnal encounters.

Living arrangement: Own own house with 1/2 acre property butted by woods.
LI sound, 2 blocks away.

Most admired trait(s): My sense of humor, green eyes, nice hair, Gemini personality.
Like people.

Number of sexual partners: Only my wife for 20 years. Many, in between marriages.

Overnight hospital stays: none.

Phobia: Unruly crowds. Fear of being unwanted.

Quote: "Your never alone with a Gemini", and
"when you think you have them eating out of your hand- count your fingers".

Religion: Grew up unbaptized, father Italian catholic who lost his religion during WWII, mother German/Russian Jew made up her own religion as she went along.
I studied Catholicism, Jehovah witness, Hare christna, but got baptized a Methodist so Mrs P & I could get married in a church. (My first was in a park under a big tree).
I believe in the light that is the spark of life, and nature holds the key to the creator.

Siblings: 1 older and 1 younger sister.

Time I wake up: 5:00AM

Unusual talent/skill: They say I write well. Have McGiver type creative survival skills,
and I am good with my tongue.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Brussel Sprouts.

Worst habit: I am a nail biter, even though lately I prefer tearing up my cuticles.

X-Rays: When a boy- every other month. Had scrapes, sprains, tears, broken bones, concussions.

Yummy foods I make: Spanish Orrios Compio, any egg dish. A spicy sauce.

Zodiac sign: Do you need to ask? Gemini to the "T".

Now I'm suppose to tag some people:

icecoldcoke
Morbid misanthrope, oh yeah-
starbender

Oh, I don't know.

2006-03-25T15:17:00.000-05:00

What can I say?

been too heavy lately.

Got to chill...

These are funny.

I miss you all...

later.

Was going to do a
Mrs Poly thing for this
pic,
but don't think

she'd find it
humorous.

It's All Too Heavy!

2006-03-21T19:43:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, life is
a state
of utter confusion.

I look around
and all I see is chaos
and total disarray.

How do you make order out of chaos?

There is order in nature,
but not in mans nature.

We draw lines on maps
separating countries- states- towns
and our own property
hoping that
our imaginary borders will keep
the undesirables out-
then we discover-
we are the undesirables.

We elect officials to govern us
that can't even get
their own houses in order.

Those that get caught cheating get pardoned.

others keep on lining their pockets at our expense.

Our factories spew tons of pollution out

into the air & water

and bury their timebombs

in our hallowed ground

and then, when cornered,

flee to relocate in some third world country

leaving us

to foot the bill.

Then our cities are destroyed

and we declare war on the wrong enemy

and turn friends to foes

and turn our children

into indiscriminate

killers of everything

that's not sanctioned
by the church,

and our senior citizens

gobble their medications

and pray for solace,

but instead

get mugged

at their Gods altar.

We are so busy ,

busy being busy.
Days turn to weeks;

weeks to months

months to years and

I never thought I

would have lived

this long,

and I... sometimes feel like

I can't continue.

Sometimes, Mrs. Poly sleep walks.

2006-03-17T11:08:00.000-05:00

PM'S Guide to Midlife Crisis Management

2006-03-10T15:34:00.000-05:00

1) Buy Corvette.

2) Justify purchase of Corvette to wife.

3) Dump wife.

4) Sell house.

5) Leave crappy career that took lifetime to build.

6) Take entry level no-brainer job in large retail store
surrounded by naive hot chicks half my age.

7) Rent garden apartment bachelor pad and furnish with contemporary designer furniture.

8) Flaunt newly discovered free-spirited lifestyle in faces of old married pussy-whipped friends.

9) Dump old friends.

10) Drop subscriptions to This Old House and
National Geographic in favor of Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler magazines.

11) Befriend guy at video store in order to be put on preferred customer XXX movie list.

12) Cancel Sears and Home Depot accounts in favor of charge account at Today's Man clothes store.

13) Dye hair.

14) Upgrade boat from Kingfisher to super sleek twin engine cigarette speedboat.

15) Scout bars for most exciting happy hours with 3:1 girl/guy ratio.

16) Require the kids to call me by first name in public.

17) Start watching American Idol in order to converse with younger women.

18) Find out who Ashley Simpson and Kelly Clarkson are.

19) Change blog name to Sex Starved Stallion and post nothing but erotica.

20) Get the addresses of all you hot sexy cyber-girlfriends and personally deliver a big Polyhug to each and everyone of you.

A day at the office. (1995)

2006-03-08T01:30:00.000-05:00

I would rather be
a big fish
in a small pond;
dog fish, dogfood,
dog eat dog.

My eyes tear when I sleep.
When I sleep I dream
the dreams of man;
Fucked up dreams-
fucked up life.

I want things I cannot have.
I dream of them with wet eyes
and wake up tired
of everything
except you.

My head is on fire,
my heart is cold.
with the pain
of my own affliction.
I'll die
naked someday

Right now,
I live for profit at
any cost,
I lie through my teeth;
I may be lying
now.
I am too flustered
to know the difference.

I'll sell anything
for money.
and I long
desperately for things
to make me happy;
You make me happy-
I can not buy you.

I sit all day
and watch the clock
tic and tock.
I grow older
and more resentful
with each
passing
day.

The boss sits
in the back of the room,
watching and despising
all around her;
and the company
she founded
on a shoestring budget
eats at her humanity.
She wishes it would
all go away.

and I know
I must now
push on
and leave
that tangled mass
of twisted rafters
and burning bridges
behind.

Children Of The Poly

2006-03-01T18:54:00.000-05:00

Meet the little Poly's;
The girl and the boy.

She was the firstborn.
I witnessed the whole ordeal.
It started at 4:00 am one sunny spring day.
We rose to the thumping inside Mrs Poly.
It was ready to come out...
12 long agonizing hours later it did;
"Congratulations" said Doctor Lefty, "It's a girl."
Born out of screams, curses, threats and tears,
amid a torrent of liquid brown goo and red bloody sludge, she appeared.
Baby girl Poly; and she was so small and beautiful,
I cried releif for the hell Mrs Poly went through and for the joy of the little slimy wet howling thing that I held squirming in my hands that was my daughter and I cut the cord.

He was born 4 years later. First he tried kicking his way out.
When that didn't work he tried punching, head butts, twisting turning, thumping, jumping-
nothing worked.
Mrs Poly looked as if someone had thrown her from a moving bus
and she screamed for the promised drugs that never came.
I tried to hide in the corner. This time I didn't even suggest doing Lamaze that didn't fucking work the first time when in her torment, I calmly suggested to Mrs, as she was climbing the fucking wall, that now would be a good time for me to help with her breathing, and she turned in a flash and scorched my eyebrows in a firestorm of curses as she contorted in misery.
So Lamaze was out this time also. Then it happened so fast;
There was one last screech from Mrs and out he popped, almost skipping out of the doctors hands as he proclaimed, "A boy!"
"A son!" I cried, as he was thrown in my hands, dripping with baby juices. and he smiled up at me and I beamed down at him; the Poly genes would survive.

A big thank you to all my cyber-friends on my 50th post

2006-02-23T20:48:00.000-05:00

Hi one and all in blogland!
I would like to dedicate my 50th post to you-
all my new wonderful cyber-friends.
You crazy creative talented courageous people from
all over this planet that help
make all this nonsense I post make sense
and whose blogsites encourage me
to be as daring as I want to be:

sweet Becky, honest brave Theresa, funny starbender,
fabulous Jasmine, kooky Captain Carl, radical Rue,
west coast hottie Ceri, lovely Lee Ann, splended jlee,
impressive ing, wild Jungle Jane, rascally morbid Misanthrope, seductive Ashley, Stately Lady Muck,
funny fuckkit, angelic Jozee, delectable sunny delight,
and the rest of the cast of social socialites
that bounce in and out...

You, are who keep me posting
and much thanks for all your visits.
Blog On Dudes and Dudettes!

Hugs and kisses,
Polyman2

A 12" Doll!

2006-02-19T20:20:00.000-05:00

Here he is boys and girls!
He's Austrian, he's sadistic, he's a killer-
and he's your very own 12" Hitler action figure.
Just when you thought it was clear to
coax the Jewish relatives out of the attic-
he comes back to finish what he started!

Made of lightweight polyvinyl chloride-
one nasty look and he'll send your ass
packing to the nearest concentration camp.
Have hours of fun; giving frenzied fanatical speeches
being treated with pseudo-religious adoration
and planning the rise of the new order!
(minus jews, niggers, spics, queers, those in instutions,
and all those of non- aryan liniage)

Amaze your freinds- persecute your enemies,
this 12" high life-like figure also makes a great conversation peice.

Hurry supplies are limited!
Call today: 1-800-sigheil
and rule the world!

batteries not included.

You Never Know!

2006-02-14T22:04:00.000-05:00

Ladies..
Next time your getting
personal and
down and dirty
with that mysterious blogger
with that wonderful
sense of humor, incredible wit
and charming charismatic
way about him,
and
he says you really turn him on;
remember
there are many wolves out there
in sheeps clothing,
in fact;
some wear none at all.

PS...that's not me.

Who Is Polyman2?

2006-02-10T20:51:00.000-05:00

Here it is folks, the story
you've been waiting for-
The story of Polyman2.

See his astounding life
played out on the big screen
by all "C" list actors and actresses.
Witness his Life in a typical american surburban
psycotic household filled with smothering love,
outrageous humor and shocking mental
and physical torment.

witness his loves,
desires, passions and
his need for weed.
Your shocked eyes will see it-
you stunned mind won't beleive it..,
Discover his lifelong obsession
for laughs and cheap thrills.
(The cheaper the better)

See his amazing
downward spiral
into the darkest regions
of depravity.
Lost, lonely and vicious,
See how our young hero
gets caught up
in the sleazy world of sex,
drugs and rock and roll.

and his obsession with big breasted women...

Yaaa!

and so...
where is he today?
What rock is he
hiding under today?

The animal.

Where is he?

Here's Poly!

In the sky with diamonds.

Honey, Have you seen my vibrator?

2006-02-08T11:22:00.000-05:00

2006-02-04T20:50:00.000-05:00

Sometimes Mrs. Poly just likes to lie around.

*"New Segment" Ask Poly: (Got his ear to the wall...)

2006-01-31T21:59:00.000-05:00

Dear Poly,

With a baby on the way, will Brad and Angelina begin a new chapter together?

Concerned in Oregon

Well Concerned,

That's an important question,
but first, may a drive a fucking stake through your eye and make it come out of your ear? Because- who really gives a fuck?

Dear Poly,

Who does your hair, It's so sleek and well groomed,

Sincerely,
Your Mother

Aww Mom,

You've always been so good to me, but if I told you,
I'd have to kill you- so don't ask.

PS, I tried to visit you for your birthday, but the guards turned me away-
I guess your back in solitary again? Who'd you beat up now?

Love your son,
Polyman2.

Howdy Poly,

Is it true that Brokeback Mountain, one of this century's most important and poignant movies, was actually based on real life events?
I just loved everything about that movie-
What emotion! What depth! What penis!

Your little doggie,
Brett Brickbutt (Binghole, Montana)

Whoa Brette,

This is hot! You put your finger on it, and it felt good!
Brokeback Mountain is actually based on a real life situation that happened way back in 1825 by none other than that wild west hero, Buffalo Bill Cody and the big Indian Chief Sitting Bull.
Now you may think that's a lot of bull, but no shit- it's true, and they actually got married. And guess where they full filled their vows? That's right- you guessed it- Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming- a gay (or back in cowboy times -pansy) resort.
It's a gripping tail of love, yearning, horse riding, bj's, cornholing, humming, yodeling with your mouth full, sadness, loss, sheep, dick jokes...
all the elements of a great 21st century reality show!
We'll, I hope I answered your question- you queer son of a bitch!

Keep in touch,
Poly. xxx

ps. I'm not gay

2006-01-28T00:25:00.000-05:00

Dickhead.

2006-01-25T21:19:00.000-05:00

Hide the porn.

Your All Fucking Al-Qaida!

2006-01-25T19:06:00.000-05:00

It's all legal, so Bush says.
Secret domestic spying is fun and full of laughs!
I mean, if you could, you would , right?
It's not like we're breaking the law or anything.
Besides, we all love a good reality show.

You got the boys from the FBI & CIA
rolling in the isles of their spy vans.
Quote Benjamin Dover, a spokesman from the CIA:
"You fucking Americans are so funny we just had to listen in."

Of course we're still hot on the tail of terrorists-
but what the hell, that can wait-
it's not like we're going to find
Bin Ladle or whatever his name is,
unless he's in Piss Ass, Arkansas-
so we might as well have fun!

And after listening, if the conversations are really funny
they go straight to the Oval Office.
Bush likes to put them on at halftime on Sundays games.
Then we all get a kick out of it.

Why last Sunday Cheney nearly vomited,
he was laughing so hard at a conversation between
Pat Robinson and the new Pope-
The Pope kept confusing him with Billy Graham,
so Robinson tells the Pope to blow him!

So don't worry people of America,
it's not like your Cindy Sheehan
or got anything to hide, well then... If you do-
we'll be listening.

2006-01-21T20:23:00.000-05:00

Ooops.

2006-01-20T19:29:00.000-05:00

What Up?

Non Progress

2006-01-19T13:03:00.000-05:00

Cover me where I fall-
dead drunk. Lest I become
a rock or some inanimate object
devoid of feeling or emotion.

I need to calm this restless spirit, so
I drink to dull the urge to run, and
I fear for my utter survival; For
I have made eternal enemies.

You- Jay, whom I once called brother,
now plot revenge for imagined transgressions.
Did you not think that I felt your pain
as I transverse this world in your shoes?

As for Noreen, time has not healed the
wounds your knife made as it pierced my flesh,
as I slept with your kiss still moist on my lips
in the coffin of our unsanctified bed.

Now, I go through the motions of the living;
I sleep, I rise, I eat, I work...
nothing disturbs the non-progress
my life is taking. I am the product
of an emotional holocaust.
The generic lack of inertia.

Poem for a Dying World

2006-01-16T19:22:00.000-05:00

I wake in the morning with a pounding in my head.
No, not in my head,
the neighbor is building a large boat in his backyard,
he believes he is dying,
but there is hope for his children.

The Earths gravitational pull seems almost non-existant as
I roll off the mattress and onto the bare floor-
or it it the ceiling? Where is that music coming from?
Outside in the yard the grass is dying,
the earthworms weep in their buried holes.
No one seems to notice.

Down the street, mourners gather in memorial park.
The marching band is assembling,
anxious to start the procession.
Tears well in my eyes.
The thought of another funeral parade is too much to handle.
I turn my eyes from the window,
why are these walls not painted?

My heart races and I suddenly run screaming from the room;
"Absolution for the masses!" I shout.
With one big burst of adrenalin
I crash through the large stained glass window;
which doesn't shatter.

Only the ceiling, with its white pitted surface
and the green carpeted floor remain parallel.
The walls are forced to follow suit;
there is no other way.
Outside, the procession has started.

I cradle my weary head in my hands
and repeat over and over;
"The Lord, my savior, shall lead me to redemption,"
but in the end, I conclude;
man's only perfection, is his imperfection.

2006-01-13T23:53:00.000-05:00

The little man in the boat.

The World According to Polyman2 (Part 1)

2006-01-10T17:11:00.000-05:00

A man falls in love
because he is horny;
a woman because she is curious-
both are disappointed.

When a woman says
I love you...
it means;
I want to control you...

If you hear:
Don't worry, I'll take care of you!
Start worrying.

When a lawyers lips are moving;
he's lying.

In war;
there are no rules.

In business;
there are no rules.

Most Americans value
profit over morals.

Most people have little
if no morals.

When you think you have them
eating out of your hand;
count your fingers.

Always tell the wife
she looks great!

Your in trouble when all goes silent
when you enter a room.

Always sound like you know
what your talking about.

Always look like you know
what your doing.

The world is held together
by plastic.

The urge

2006-01-06T19:58:00.000-05:00

Polonius: What do you read my Lord?
Hamlet: Words, words, words.
(Shakespeare)

I have had the urge lately
to write more that
I've ever written before.

When I am not writing,
I am thinking about writing.

and,
I have become a real fan of blogging-
I fear it's my new addiction.
Since this is my off season,
I am thrilled to have the time
to post and travel from blog to blog
at odd hours, both day and night.

I value all my cyberfriends
and sit in amazement,
laughter and sorrow at all
the details of your lives
that are posted daily.

I especially enjoy the ladies-
and yes; I do like to flirt (it's harmless)
and look forward to your visits
and I wish I could hug you all for stopping by.

But I can't,so instead
I take sustenance with
your thoughts and words,
and the day-to-dayness of your lives
and applaud the unique urge that spurs you on
and compels you to write.

2006-01-04T22:52:00.000-05:00

Nice Kitty

2006-01-01T23:54:00.000-05:00

New Years Baby 1906...guess who?

Polyman2's 10 2006 Dream Resolutions or (at this age it's no fun being good) or (How to go to hell in a handbag)

2006-01-01T19:52:00.000-05:00

1) Drink to excess.

2) Eat whatever, whenever I please.

3) Indulge in all the sins of the flesh.

4) Enjoy a good cigar at will.

5) Enjoy a good spliff at will.

6) View obsene and otherwise objectionial material often.

7) Listen to whatever-the-hell music I choose to at the moment.

8) The same goes with TV, in the likelihood that something in that vast electronic wasteland would ever catch my attention.

9) Have less patience with nitt witts, in a kind way of course.

10) Engage in serious dialogue with those of like mind and similar high IQ's.

2005-12-30T17:52:00.000-05:00

Search of Avalon. For whom do you search, my love?

2005-12-29T23:15:00.000-05:00

as one

Fun with Erotica (Fill in the hot little blanks)

2005-12-29T10:20:00.000-05:00

He gently lay her down on the 1_____
and button by button,
his anxious fingers
opened her 2_______.
She sighed.
Slowly, he put his 3____
to her 4________
and gently 5_____.
She moaned... "yes."

After a few moments,
she sat up,
taking his 6______
in both hands and
proceeded to 7______ .
He groaned with 8_______
for this was all new to him.

Then she was ready...
She pulled him down
onto her.
He fumbled for an instant then
eased in the 9______
of his 10_______ .
They began 11______,
He couldn't believe this
was really happening

Sweat glistened on their 12______
as they 13______
moving, rocking
back and forth,
locked in embrace
for what seemed like hours,
14________ and 15________.

Until
in a creeping eruption,
when they couldn't
stand it any longer;
couldn't fight it-
couldn't hold back-

they 16_________
together,
in a giant cresendo,
both crying out
in exquisite ecstasy.

guess i woke up today
feeling a little randy...Naughty Poly

Fun with Words

2005-12-28T09:41:00.000-05:00

Saddam and Gomorrah,
Immaculate regurgitation,
Phychological fiesta,
Vagina martyrdom,
Sensuous lungworm,
Disgruntled homosexual,
Shameless infantilism,
Chopsuey conquistador,
Holy holocaust.

Paxil ejaculation,
Subversive healthcare
Illiterate intellectual,
Cromatic urination,
Figleaf elevation,
Spasmodic penis,
Pipefitting piosity,
Imbecile savant,
Chemotherapy propoganda.

nonsensical Polyman2.

2005-12-26T18:47:00.000-05:00

wanderer

God is....

2005-12-25T22:34:00.000-05:00

God is;
the light
that is the spark
of life in a newborn.
The spark of hope
for a world
that has long
lost it's way.
A prayer that maybe
it is possible
to learn from
past mistakes;
to right past wrongs
on a new day...
and maybe
just maybe
that baby
will be the one that
shows us how.

God is;
the light
in your eyes,
and mine,
that lights the way
radiating confidance
that no matter
how dark it gets
inside or out,
or how lonely and
frightened we find
ourselves
that we do not
walk alone through
that menacing valley.

God is;
the loving hand that
leads a child
onto a path that is moral
and right.
A strong hand the grasps
a drowning hand
bringing it
to safety.
A broken soul
mended with compassion
and love...and
3 simple words
to travel through
life with,
the hardest words
ever to obey,
since the beginning-
sin no more.

God is;
a tugging feeling
we experience
in our guts
that makes us
turn away
when we witness
mans lies, brutality
and carnage
in the guise
of personal pride, flags
and religion.

God is;
everything
if you believe,
and nothing-
if you don't.
But there is
no denying
that we are
all here together
for whatever reason
on this one
wonderful little
pathetic planet
until the
day comes
when we
finially get to learn
that God is
everything or nothing
we ever thought
he was.

Merry Christmas World!
JPS aka Polyman2
Xmas 2005

2005-12-22T22:17:00.000-05:00

capitalist in training

Office at the Top

2005-12-22T13:44:00.000-05:00

He had arrived.

It was a difficult journey.
One that took years.
But it was well worth it.
He was a Professional.

He put his nose to the grindstone
at a early age and did what
he had to do to get to
The Top.

Armed with a cutthroat
reptilian ego, feirce determination,
sharp focus, nerves of steel,
saintly patience and unyeilding
p-e-r-s-i-s-t-a-n-c-e...
He had conquered all!

...and he had made it
to that wonderous place
he used to only hear about;
dream about... the office
on the top floor,
but, for a brief moment
it felt... lonely.

He had arrived
and he was alone.
There was no one
here to celebrate with.
No one left to congratulate him,
admire him...
but he supposed
that came with the territory
and he was learning.

Because on his way up
he had burned all his bridges
and squashed his rivals
like grapes.

Of his subordinates,
not many survived.
Those that had were beaten;
and pummeled into submission
to glorify him.
Besides, he could
always find new ones
to replace the old ones that expired;
fresh underlings that would
exalt and worship him;
treat him like the
cooperate God he was.
For he understood finance,
his company turned a profit,
and he was on his way!

This was the way of the world,
the way he was taught to do things,
and this was business.

He was the
COO-Cheif Opreating Officer
and a heavy hitter,
a highflyer, a major player;
The Head Honcho!

and be certain;
heads will always roll!

2005-12-21T21:16:00.000-05:00

O'kay

2005-12-21T21:05:00.000-05:00

You know where I'm going.

Yes Polyman, there is a Santachrist.

2005-12-21T14:41:00.000-05:00

Behold: He has come
to shop. He knows
everything must go!
It is written.

I will not use
his name in vain.
I fear eternal damnation.
but I can also spot
a great bargin.

Please have commpassion
on our wallets
and pocketbooks
this holy season.

I now know
he is real.
I see his presence
all around
in the form
of crude decorations
and plastic images.

Santachrist.

Thou art heavy!

My cup runneth over.

so kind.

2005-12-21T11:14:00.000-05:00

Oh, you all are
so kind...
for commenting
so favoribly,
and I am happy.

I didn't think anyone
read my glob.
I mean blob, sorry...blog
silly me.

I think my brain tries
to slip out of my ear
at night,
onto my pillow.
I find traces
and remnants
of thoughts
and earwax
mixed in the bedshheets
upon rising...
but I can't
seem to remember.

I feel weird,
naked as I sit here
shivering
in front
of my computer screen.
I look down-
and I am naked-
and limp
and small.
The horror.

I dreamed I was
a giant.

2005-12-20T21:44:00.000-05:00

Animal Revenge

2005-12-20T21:40:00.000-05:00

Woman in Chair.

2005-12-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

The Emperors new clothes

At odds with myself.

2005-12-20T15:23:00.000-05:00

I like bunny rabbits, kittins and playful puppies.
It makes me fuzzy just thinking about them.

Why can't everyone be happy?
Take a minute and smile-
Doesn't that feel great!

How's your bowel movement?
I'm am very regular.
I think that's important for a happy long life. Don't you?

I am trying so hard to be normal- not a negative word, yet.
I'm very proud of myself...so far.
No sarcasm, no profanity.

I really like it when the sun shines-
but it's OK if it rains; we can still have fun indoors.
We can bake cookies with lots of sugar...ummmm.

This posting is so nice.
I don't know how long I can continue...
it's beginning to hurt.

I like to wear shoes. They make my toes happy,
and keep my feet warm and toasty.

Butterfies are nice. They are so colorful.
Remind me of summer.

The laughter of children is like the sound of music...

I hated that f@#*ing movie...No-No! Stop that!
It was a nice movie, filled with singing and hope and... and...love.

I love love, and sex.
Hard wet sex!...Oh no...no...must not regress- must be strong!!
Ohhhh baby- Yeaaaa Do it!
TAKE IT BITCH!!!!
F@#K EVERYBODY! I CAN'T BE NICE ANYMORE...I just can't!...
AAARRRGGG!!!!

I'm sorry dear reader, I think this post has gone terribly wrong.
Polyman2 is having a breakdown of sorts.
We have to get him back on his medication.

Please accept this as a formal apology and stay tuned.

My Open Letter

2005-12-16T15:55:00.000-05:00

I know I can be happy
as long as
I have you by my side;
on my side.
I am not a bad person-
just a little biffed-up
bent-up and
bewildered.

But I can still smile,
and laugh
and work
through my pain.
Sure, I am older
and I hope wiser.
But is age
an immenant
death sentence-
is it?

Please, be kind.
Do not judge me
on my past actions;
but listen to
my words-
I will not lie
anymore.

It is true,
I was coarse,
self-centered
and cruel causing
lots of pain
on those that
cared the most-
but today,
I am redemptional.
I have repented.
I am not that man
anymore.

Physically, Spiritually and Emotionally Bankrupt

2005-12-16T10:40:00.000-05:00

I am guilty
of letting it all
hang out.
They gave me
enough rope
and guess what?
I hung myself.

Now I must pay,
and play their game
for the rest
of time.
You see, it's all
about the money
that I burned through
falsly thinking
it could bring
real happiness.

I was wrong my freinds.
I bought into their
unattainable dream
and now
I am fucked...
and I fear I will never
play the piano again.

0 Comments

2005-12-13T15:06:00.000-05:00

I write to appease
the monster within
that growls and howls
at the rising moon.

Why can't you understand
it is a need that is never
satisfied, never fulfilled,
like a festering wound
that can't be healed.

Mother, you were right
to turn me out
so many years ago,
I am a miserable bastard
with nothing nice to say.

This is why I write.

Chared Remains

2005-12-13T14:08:00.000-05:00

I search
the innermost folds
of my mind
and can't remember
how I wound up
down here.

I was at the top
of the hill,
top of my game
and I stumbled
and fell hard.

There was no safety net.
What could I do?
except tumble
and fall,
crash and burn.
and I still can't get up.

Reading the F#$@king Papers

2005-12-12T12:22:00.000-05:00

I was there when the planes hit the towers
turning the sky black
that sunny morning
in September.
And it rained down fire and ash.
creating so much death and destruction
in a city known for it's
living and hard love
George took us to war to war
and sought revenge
out of anger
upon the wrong bully
who humiliated his daddy
many years ago-
just hadan old score
to settle.
Now, we have another 2000
to mourn of our own
with God who knows how many innocents
on the other side,
all sharing the same
black body bags-
freedom bags I call them.
Osama, you have created such a mess
in your quest to turn back the clock
and padlock peoples minds.
But I think the cat
is out of the bag
and catch you we will
if we happen to
stumble upon you,
but I hope it is not
the last thing we do
in our mission to free the world
from its own deception
and make it safe
to spread our own brand
of happiness
to be imposed
upon the unwilling
of the world.

Beyond Love

2005-12-05T15:30:00.001-05:00

I have nothing to say,

I sit here in silence,

alone on a shelf

of the worlds design,

waiting for night to come.

Then I sit alone

in total darkness.

I hear the sound of rain

pinging off the plastic roof,

and feel abandoned

by all I hold dear.

Except you...

You will not leave me!

You are my lifeline;

my continuation.

When I fall,

which is sometimes-

you are there to cushion

the impact.

What I feel for you

is beyond love,

beyond

understanding;

All I could ever imagine.

Is there a Santachrist? I ask in my naive confusion.

2005-12-01T14:44:00.000-05:00

He comes from above in a chariot overflowing with gifts and blessings. I tremble and bow low before his shadow. He has imitable power over me. I know I haven't been my best this year and I know he was watching.

I admit I have had lusty thoughts, I have been envious of those who live better than me, and have entertained dark desires of assaulting those who have wronged me.

I am racked with guilt, so as penance; I will sing 5 Christmas Carols and add 10 extra bright light sets to my house when I decorate. It is all I can do to appease him.

He has reindeer, 12 of them; they are his eyes, ears and engines. I will sing the special song about a certain reindeer I was taught in childhood to try and placate them. Yet, I am apprehensive of hearing hoofsteps on my roof in the middle of a cold wintry night in December; for they will bring him.

Santachrist...I whisper the name out loud. I shudder at the sound of my own words and genuflect; I am in awe of his grandeur. For he is very old and I know he has been around the block a few times.

As a small child, I would often wait on long lines for a chance to sit on his lap and dare to ask for things. I knew even then that I was unworthy. But, sometimes he would grant my wishes, sometimes not. That is his way...so they say.

Now I wish he could hear my needful pleas. For now that I am older, my needs have become greater and more desperate.

I will pray:

Oh Santachrist- Please hear my words...I ask not for more than I am entitled to; for I am still a sinner and still unworthy. But this holiday season, my greatest wish would there to be Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men and please don't forget the Harley Davidson Sportster...
Amen

Venom for RS

2005-11-28T15:25:00.000-05:00

My lawyer speaks in tongues.
The only language he knows is dollars and cents.

He cares for nothing and no one else; not even his family begging for love; their smiling happy faces stare out of gold framed photos adorning his cold gaudy highly polished desk. The pictures were placed there by his wife for the sole purpose of reminding him of his responsibility to feed, cloth and support them.
It is that hard cold fact he is assaulted by each and every day as he hunkers down.

He is friendless, but a friend to all. He is polite to the T. The words flow off his slimy tongue as he smiles reassuringly. When he shakes your hand, it is as if grasping a large spineless lifeless fish that leaves your hand dank and soiled for days.

He has hopes of entering politics someday.
I think he will excel.

An open letter on the eve of a new Thanksgiving

2005-11-23T14:11:00.000-05:00

We all have something to be thankful for. Whether it be so mundane as to just being alive, or something as super as finally getting that new Mercedes you've always dreamed of (I guess most of us would like to experience that thrill).
I think, just the fact that we live in this great country are grounds enough to be thankful. Where you go from here is really a personal question on the topic of what you expect from life. You may ask yourself: What does life owe me? What do I owe those that depend on me? What do I owe myself? Do you feel compelled to give of yourself something to those less fortunate? All seemingly valid questions to kick off this holiday season.
Is the welfare of your fellow countrymen a concern of yours? What about the welfare of all mankind and womankind around the globe? What about our overall flagrant disregard for the environment worldwide? More questions to ask ourselves.
We are all a day older than yesterday. What do you want to accomplish in your lifetime? If you are like me in the 2nd half century of life, what do you wish to accomplish with the time you have remaining? What is our responsibility to the future generations? Do we leave them a better world or the remnants of the world ravaged?
As Americans in this new millennium, we are besieged by news of all the turmoil in the world. Yet, we are envied and veiled in the same breath. Do we let our leadership take us down questionable paths, both hypercritical and self serving or do we stand up for what we know in our hearts is right and just? Can we reach out to help teach other peoples what it really means to be independent, free and an American. Will we still be the beacon of light that will shine brightly for all to see?
Remember the values this country was founded on. Remember our Declaration of independence, and the Constitution that men sacrificed and died for. Are these mere words on old paper or do they still really stand for something both moral and decent.
Many thoughts and questions to ponder on the eve of a new Thanksgiving as we prepare to feast in celebration of all our blessings.

Love

2005-11-20T20:08:00.000-05:00

I gaze into her hazel eyes, those eyes I know so well, and suddenly everything is all right. The day's stress melts away in a heatbeat. I exhale and am myself again and at ease. I know I will all be o'kay for another night as long as she is here.

Not Myself.

2005-11-19T19:11:00.000-05:00

Sex is dirty only if it's done right.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
A pessimist is an optimist with experience.
Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get.

Since an early age, I have never really known contentment. I can't sit idle for too long. My brain needs constant stimuli or else I tune out. I am on the verge of withdrawing even as I write this. Most of the time, I am f-ing bored with myself and that which goes on around me.
Sure, I go through all the motions ; I sleep, I rise, I eat, I drive, I work, I make love...etc...
Sometimes I feel it is not me, but my life by someone else. I am a spectator.

Why do I continue to do what I know I shouldn't?

2005-11-18T20:03:00.001-05:00

Smoke filled lungs. Alcohol drenched stomach membrane. Head blanketed in the fog of substance. This is the way of life for most. I do also, but it is not my excuse.
It is the way to cope I tell myself. As I have done for the last thirty odd years. But they are all odd- that is why I indulge- I do not need a reason.
Now do you understand? Don't get me wrong- it is not that I am asking for absolution or approval.
I am far beyond that. I am old enough to know better; but who knows best? Not father- he is beset with his own demons; or maybe he is his own. He is dead anyway and hopefully beyond caring. I am a father and I still know nothing.
Now, I am a blogger; my new addiction. Most of what I read online is crap. I feel like I'm in good company because of what I see we are all in trouble. Well, at least we are not alone; we'll all go down with the ship together while the orchestra plays waltza mitilda...

Soup vampire

2005-11-18T11:28:00.000-05:00

Day 2, entry 2 Lunch in front of my computer.
Sitting here slurping won ton soup like a fruit bat to blood. I am amazed at my hunger. The won tons pop like blood vessels as I suck at the soup and chew its meaty contents. Then, after my ravenous frenzy is complete,
I stare down at the mess I have created on my desk and feel ashamed, then clean up leaving lno trace of my feast,
then back to work.

shallow first

2005-11-17T11:34:00.000-05:00

I am an egg. Not yet born. Fragile, yet full of promise.