The struggle in my mind ( my promise)

It's all an Illusion.

What is real and
what is not,
and all the spaces
in between,
in shades of gray and
black and white and
oh, there I go again.
I need to take something
to bring me back
to reality.
My mind is in
a bad place.


I long for diversion and excitement.

"I fear I have grown stagnant,"

he said, eyeing the thick rope draped across the chair

and then the overhead beam.

He took a long toke of the joint and exhaled slowly.

There was a time when you would dance before me

naked

with your long hair shimmering

in the moonlight and

I would take you in my arms and

kiss your lips so gently.

So young, sweet innocent eyes trusting my words...

my intentions, my promise;

"How I love you,"

...and you gave yourself to me totally
willingly.

I have never betrayed that trust.

...and yet,
from time to time
a passing thought
a fanciful fantasy causes me
to struggle with questions
of right and wrong,

and the temptations that besiege me.

because I am a man
and I will not yield.

Nor will I harm you

or myself,
nor damage what

we have built together,
for 20 years

for a whim.

Life's a beach

Nobody's perfect,

but why do we have to be subjected to it?

It is what they dangle in front of us in place of happiness.

Poly in the sky, with donuts-

Where is meaning?