I'm in da funk
again.
I feel my life
a pathetic parody to which I am only a
minor
participant.
orchestrated by
...others
and I'm not right.
I AM BEYOND HELP.
"AARRGG!" I scream out loud
========================================
The children turn away
from the TV
and look toward
their mother
as if to ask
with unspoken words:
What is the matter with Daddy?
She puts down
her magazine and
turns to me
in concerned exasperation
(as if thinking, here we go again)
and asks:
"Honey, what is the matter with you now?
Is everything all right?"
Her voice vibrates in
my skull like
a steel balls
downward spiral
in a
metal funnel.
..........................................................................................................................................................................
I think;
"No,
I am not all right..."
I am angry...
I am shackled
by my own
aspirations;
and sometimes I loose it,
have lost it,
too easy,
my rant. (Blogger talk)
Anyway,
I tell her;
I don't feel like talking anymore.
I am bored with the sound
of my own voice
and am going
to bed.
40 comments:
=(
I hope it passes soon for you. BTW, the color/word thing had me going for about 10 minutes. I still can't do it "right".
I liked the line "I am bored with the sound of my own voice". Not because you are in a bad place. Purely in a word combo rhythm type way.
I am in da funk today - got a call at 5.56 AM to substitute teach and couldn't even roll over to pick up the phone. Just froze and went back to sleep.
Funks tend to disipate. (sp?) I visuliaze a funk as a kind of grey boggy steam that envelopes you and then gradually condenses into a pool that slowly evaporates around your feet. You either fight it or wade through it. Or, you just walk away...
You would be surprised to know how many people feel just like you. Thanks for your raw, poetic honesty, Poly.
I wish I never felt that way.
Unfortunately...
I do all of the time.
Maybe you need a vacation, just a thought.
Green, red, blue, yellow, blue, black, red, blue, green, black, red, yellow, green, blue, black, blue, red, green.
Life is a waste of time, but at least you're not dead.
"Shakled by my own aspirations." That's it exactly. Like the Paul Simon "...a bad day is when I lie in bed and think of things that might have been...".
i loved that, so relateable (is that a word?)
I am sorry, I know how you feel. I think it is going around.
I do hope it doesn't last long. Look for the sunshine sweetie....it will be back.
Luv ya
Kinda like the mean reds. When Audrey Hepburn would get them in Breakfast At Tiffany's.I say go with it, then go through it. The other side of funk is grand and something to look forward too.
By the way thanks for the blog comment. coming from a power blogger such as your self I am honored. This was only my second post and i had 3 comments. woohoo!
I hope you feel better soon! I have often felt like this! Not too fabulous!
I fear there is a lot of this going around.
Hugs and hairpulls.
Honey, what is the matter with you now?
RECURRING???
Could just be the changing of seasons!
Stop by; I'll chear ya up sweetie!
:)
You can't have the up's with out the down's.
Wow- Good to see ya all!
Hey Zooom,
Yea, I like that color/word thing, but it's gone from this posting. Have had all kinds of problems with BLOGGER. I work from 3 computers, and all 3 weren't cooperating.
-Yea, maybe I got the male PMS thing going on. Been nasty too.
Even had a fight with the Mrs. which is really rare occurance.
ninanina,
You have such a way with words and descriptives-love it.
I think I drown in funk. I'm such a moody SOB sometimes.
Jlee,
I guess it's just a human thing.
Sometimes even my Paxel doesn't work.
Nowhere,
Your so funny, I love your site and your stories. I can tell you write from angst.
Lori, I am so overdo for a vacation. I got a week to take in the fall, maybe drive down to South Carolina and visit some family.
Video,
Your so sweet, I might take you up on that- misery likes company.
Morb-
Not yet- I'm still kickin'
Lestat,
I hate when I think this way- it gets me all twisted up. But, I refuse to regret anything I've done. I guess, all happens for a reason.
Like your site, very stimulating.
Hey Sassy-
You foxy Canadian. Thanks for the visit.
-and it sounds like a good word, I am so terrible with spelling and grammer lately, I'm ashamed of my ignorance..
Lee Ann,
I guess it's catching. Can't hang around that long, can it?
People like you are my sunshine.
Hello Mia,
& welcome from a moody gemini,
Hey- new to the blog world? Looks like your making a dent already.
Cherry,
You? no way. Your always so busy traveling and doing wonderful things.
Manny,
I knew you'd understand, can I rest my weary head on your bosom?
Star,
I know, here I go again, and it's not even winter. I guess it's just the end of summer blues. I'm definetaly coming your way.
Becky,
I don't even know what happened.
Just woke up a little hung over
on Monday, and it's been crappy ever since. Can't get going, but at least I posted.
Typical male! ok- kidding! Just go eat some comfort food and major chocolate. Works for me :) Sweet Poly! I hope you feel better soon!
love the prosey nature of this post, even though the wording is strung with loops of sadness..
hang in there polydude. it's worth it. keep digging though...there is some great life stuff out there to be lived. : )
I had one of these 'funk's' yesterday, actually. It was still with me this afternoon but it's gone now...don't know why, just glad it is.
Sometimes, (ok, every day) before I start work I check my email for the daily comments. My commenters ALWAYS cheer me up! :-D
DAMN! If you only lived closer we'd drown your sorrows in a big bowl of chocolate!!!
isnt it obvious??
you need more chocolate in your life.
sugah!!
Drama,
I need something. Been cut-off from
the nasty since our argument.
I hope choc. works better than booze & whatnot. Don't want to gain weight though.
Thx.
Odly, thanks dear & welcome to Polyworld.
Hope,
Yes, I want to live and enjoy life.
I think I read too much world news each day and that bums me out.
Jin- Yes, I need chocolate! Today I dine on the sweet stuff. Thx- and sorry I don't live closer.
Neko,
Hey babe, Yes now I understand,
haven't had it in a while. Been watching my weight.
There is so much more here than the words.
Talk Poly... To us and to her.
Come here, I'll make it all better. *wink*
How are you today? Hope you are feeling better.
The "Comedy" and "Tragedy" masks are actually the Greek muses Thalia and Melphamine if you ever really want to impress somebody in a bar.
(Probably not as impressive in a New Orleans Garden District bar.)
The reason you're in a funk is because you exist. It's a side-effect.
Bummer, might be time to head down to Moe's Tavern Poly!
you need to go watch "Joe vs the Volcano" it's good for "brain cloud"
LOVE the name of your blog! Made me laugh. It's a classic. If life is a parody perhaps you should become more satirical... It might make you feel better.
weight watching is for highly strung supermoms.
^_^
but, for a healthy alternative to choc, you could always try fruit.
altho, sumtimes, all anyone really needs is a hug & a cudlle.
devilbluedress,
I have been accused of being self absorbed and too sensitive, to which I do agree.
A teacher once termed mean "emotional writer."
-and yes there usually is more to what I usually post.
Manny,
Yea, feeling much better thank you.
But, I'll still take that hug.
Ah Zen,
Life is comedy and tragedy. The Greeks had it right. I'm impressed,
Now off to the bar...
Gyrobo,
Yea, "Caution- life can be dangerous to your health."
Mushroom- I'm on my way, thanks.
Jlee,
Never saw it, will take it out.
Thx honey. Think I got brain smog.
Wendy,
Ooh black cat,
I usually am in a good mood with a song in my head, laughter in my heart and a hop in my step- then I drop into a abyss for a few days until I drag myself out.
It's a depression thing. Thx.
Neko,
Took your advice, stopped on way to work today and bought some chocolate organic raisons...Mmmmmm good. And I will take the hug and cuddle too.
I can relate. Not today, because today is Friday, but talk to me again on Monday. :D
Please come out of the funk....
I have a roll of duct tape with your name on it. LOL
Hugs and hairpulls.
I hope things have gotten better for you since you posted this...
Smile....we love ya!
miztris,
Well, it's Monday, raining and quite crappy out there. I'm in da funk again. Hope your OK.
Mia,
I think 1 day with you and I'd be out of da funk lickity split.
Manny,
I'm ready to take you up on that.
Cindi,
I guess I'm Ok, still not at the top of my game. Thx my sweets.
Ok Poly, that's long enough to be depressed (beautifully expressed, btw) but...long enough.
I'm taking you to Dairy Queen. Right now. And we're not coming out until you feel better. (I only have 5 bucks so I hope your a fast recoverer.)
darling man, you always express it so well.....those feelings...of...god you said it...bored with my own self...sigh
crabby,
I may take you up on that, need something sweet, although been plying myself with loads of chocolate covered things. Thx.
Sunny,
We've had something like 9 straight
days of rain here- It's killing me.
I've seen this before- You know we all have our days. Some days are worse than others. Some problems don't go away.
Very few understand my post about light- but there is a lot of wisdom in the responses that I got. It's really a new perspective to dealing with the world and problems...
Take care. I'm always glad to see you visit.
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