Wednesday, March 08, 2006

A day at the office. (1995)

I would rather be
a big fish

in a small pond;
dog fish, dogfood,
dog eat dog.

My eyes tear when I sleep.
When I sleep I dream
the dreams of man;
Fucked up dreams-
fucked up life.


I want things I cannot have.

I dream of them with wet eyes
and wake up tired
of everything

except you.

My head is on fire,
my heart is cold.
with the pain
of my own affliction.
I'll die
naked someday

Right now,
I live for profit at
any cost,
I lie through my teeth;
I may be lying
now.
I am
too flustered

to know the difference.

I'll sell anything
for money.
and I long

desperately for things
to make me happy;
You make me happy-
I can not buy you.

I sit all day
and watch the clock
tic and tock.
I grow older
and more resentful
with each
passing

day.

The boss sits
in the back of the room,
watching and despising
all around her;
and the company
she founded
on a shoestring budget
eats at her humanity.
She wishes it would
all go
away.

and I know
I must now
push on
and leave
that tangled mass
of twisted rafters
and burning bridges
behind.

17 comments:

JLee said...

fantastic...but I want to kill myself now

Mystical Me said...

WOW!! No doubt Jlee, me too!!
Take care, MM XOXO
"Sniff sniff"

Polyman2 said...

wolf-
I always push too hard.

jlee,
Sorry, been in one of my dark moods lately. It's that time of year. Need the warm weather and flowers and birds.

Mystical,
I can be a real horror show. They say I'm too sensitive;
I think I just think too much.

Lady-
The shrink kicked me out years ago-said I was depressing him.
It's all that bottled up anger-
I come from a long line of troubled souls.
Paxil, scotch, maryjane, sex...
sometimes, nothing works.

jungle jane said...

you can buy me Poly...$9.99 plus local taxes...

Polyman2 said...

Jane-
I might take you up on you generous offer...thanks.

Shannon-I am all over the place on this one, so you are right. The truth is I worked for years and years in offices and hated it and saw no way out, and a bad 1st marriage when I was 24 that stretched me to the limits.
Now, years later,
I can finially come to terms with that fucked up part of my life.
...and yes I am in a dark mood that only spring can remedy.

No need to correct grammatical errors on the site... thanks for the kind words.

Jozee said...

I love it when you get all twisted like that. How do you get any work done?

Word verif: ueqpiits
You figure it out

Becky said...

Wow, You know me all to well!

Lee Ann said...

I want things I cannot have as well!
Those are cool pictures Poly!

Polyman2 said...

Jozee,
in that case, I'm glad you come by.
I seem to write my best when I am in the pitts of despair.

VA Nurse,
I might be ready for a stay in your hospital. I'm a vetern of many foreign mind wars.

Becky,
Then we are one of the same.
We are the sane ones trying to make sense of an insane world.

Video-
It was being trapped in a situation where you see no releif and end in sight- a living hell.

Lee Ann-
I still wnat things, but now I know my limits.

Theresa said...

Experience + a smidge of awareness, are about the only way to figure out what's really important in this life. You definitely know what's NOT important.

t_cole said...

can't sleep tonight...
you took the thoughts (at least several of them) out of my head.
and it's not the weather here.
70 and sunny.
it's the climate.

starbender said...

U'r having one of those days too!?!
:o

Fuckkit said...

Happy Happy Joy Joy.

Polyman2 said...

Ipizudic- and the beer.

Hey Theresa,
Yes, it all comes down to priorities and what is important. Unfortunataly, We are a capitalist society that values wealth over morals. I know:
I've been a salesman for 25 years.

t- it's universal! The older we get, we see what we have accomplished in our lifetimes and sometimes we ask ourselfs- why?

star,
Every year around this time of year I'm suicidal. I wonder sometimes if it is the weather.


fuckkit- yea, happy happy argggggg.

Hellpig said...

yo wolf what are you doing outta your cage bitch,I told you that the next time you spouted off,the nightly anal probes will be KY'less,remember how long it took for your ass to heal last time..

Mystical Me said...

I just wanted to stop by & say hi & wish you a wonderful weekend. Take care sweetheart!! Love always, MM XOXO

Polyman2 said...

Ceri,
...I always wanted to be a poet, but I don't follow any conventional rules- pisses off the true poets-
what can I say? I write the way that's right for me.

hellpig?
OH NO! I'm in for it now!
I've been a bad oinker....Oiiiiiink!
It's still not healed.

Mystical-
You make my day, beautiful.

Capt! Capt! Your back! sob, sob...
I thought you went down with the ship...but now your back and everything is right as rain.