Tuesday, March 21, 2006

It's All Too Heavy!

Sometimes, life is
a state
of utter confusion.

I look around
and all I see is chaos
and total disarray.

How do you make order out of chaos?


There is order in nature,
but not in mans nature.




We draw lines on maps
separating countries- states- towns
and our own property
hoping that
our imaginary borders will keep
the undesirables out-
then we discover-
we are the undesirables.




We elect officials to govern us
that can't even get
their own houses in order.

Those that get caught cheating get pardoned.

others keep on lining their pockets at our expense.

Our factories spew tons of pollution out

into the air & water

and bury their timebombs

in our hallowed ground

and then, when cornered,

flee to relocate in some third world country

leaving us

to foot the bill.



Then our cities are destroyed

and we declare war on the wrong enemy

and turn friends to foes

and turn our children

into indiscriminate

killers of everything

that's not sanctioned
by the church
,







and our senior citizens

gobble their medications

and pray for solace,

but instead

get mugged

at their Gods altar.



We are so busy ,

busy being busy.
Days turn to weeks;

weeks to months

months to years and

I never thought I

would have lived

this long,

and I... sometimes feel like


I can't continue.

35 comments:

JLee said...

your posts are always worth the wait...I met a lady today who was a spry 94 yrs old and as happy as a little girl. I felt like a bitch for being in a bad mood. Does that have anything to do with this post? I don't know.

Lee Ann said...

Yes, utter confusion. That top picture is awesome....
You are right, we are so busy busy busy...are days blend into the nights and weeks and months and years. Then all of the sudden we look up..."how did I get here".

The Taker of Gist said...

Confused? Get a quick boost of Gist! Untraceable by modern means. The future is uncertain, though.

But isn't it always?

Humour and last laugh said...

put up a face as if you are continuing, then escape inwards and laugh.

Fuckkit said...

Oh smile fer fucks sake ;)

Anonymous said...

dear, sweet polyman, your pain is great. Mine is too, when i focus on all that is wrong, all that is not beautiful, the big mess. Though my heart fills with joy and love and optimism when i look at the moment, at the brief beauty around me, at the spark of life in a child, in a moment of love, in the steps of progress that can be made through sheer effort and intention. So I acknowledge your sadness, and remind you of the other. Sent to you with love.

Becky said...

Life is sad, none the less, it's that time of year for earth to renew itself, SPRING! Birds chirping, trees greening, flowers blooming, and grass growing! Just reminds us all that things always work out, and life will start anew with or without us!

Webmiztris said...

i hear ya, and I totally agree, man.

Polyman2 said...

Lady,
Laughs outside, tears inside.

ice- How did you know my past (except for the Ricky Martin thing)? We are the human animals-
capable of love, capable of murder.

jlee,
Thanks, I always wonder, why, even though I have so much love and good things happenning in my life- I am still so moody and world-wary. Maybe it is just my own insecurities and paranoia.

Lee Ann-
Always feel like I stumbled my way through life- nothing seemed planned, and I got a feeling I'm not alone. The world is absolutly nuts and we kid ourselves when we think for a moment we got it under control.

Gist- I am certain the future is uncertain.

Le Chitelier- It's the futility of life that upsets me- it's all for what? Maybe being dead for so long,
you got that one figured out.
Came close ending it years ago- but got through it- the problem with death is it's so final.

Humour- Exactly! I never was an "UP" person, but with the help of my meds I can now deal with it.

Nurse- Your very wise and what you said is the only way we can function surrounded by uncertainty.
I just got through a real rough few years where my world unraveled and I went through a lot of turmoil and emotion. If it wasn't for Mrs and the kids I don't know where I would be now.
Fortunatlly, I had some good luck and intellect prevailed. Now things are looking up and I'm learning to shrug off the world's burden.
My heart goes out to the people that can't get a break.

Fuckkit- Funny, I do smile and laugh a lot. It's the only way I can get through.

Ashley,
That's the salesmans creed- play up the positive and downplay the negative. Chin up- pip pip.
I've been in sales for 25 years.

If you seek goodness and beauty- it's right there, IF you look.
I see beauty alongside the ugliness. I'm a realist.

The Taker of Gist said...

Time is nonlinear in the Gist.

As a noted Gistologist, I can attest to that. Im my professional opinion, time rarely flows in a continuous pattern. Unpredicted, unwarranted. All the time.

Mystical Me said...

I agree with Jlee, you are so worth the wait. I always love your posts!! I feel your pain!! Great post sweetheart! I hope all is well with you!! Take care, MM XOXO

Rue said...

May we just need to redefine the word 'chaos' as we need to define our own perspective on what we each call perfection. Nature is perfect but nothing in nature remains the same. It is constantly in a state of transition and change. Look at the sky...is it a perfect sky? Answer: it's always a perfect sky and it is never the same,

Polyman2 said...

Hi Shannon honey,
Yea, I'm o'kay!
I just need a little R & R.
Been working hard at everything lately.
and been taking too many things personally; like the state of the world.
Need to get my focus back.

Anonymous:
Your words are so true- you voice what is in my heart, so eloquently-
please stop back when you can.

Becky,
Still waiting for spring. It is my favorite season. It is the season of my birth; so a rebirth would be nice at this time in my life.

Webmiztris,
I'm glad you agree, I guess we all have our inner and outer demons to deal with.


video,
Ah, but your a lovable weirdo.
Math was my worse subject in school and therefore, I blame it for all that's wrong in the world.

Lori said...

Wow GREAT POST, so true!

Theresa said...

... but we do continue ... most of us, anyway.

Polyman2 said...

Gistman- you speak words of wisdom.

Mystical,
thanks, your kind.
I know sometimes I feel like a little hurt boy sobbing alone in my room. Wah...poor me.
but what can I do except voice my feelings...

Rue,
So true, and great analogy.
In Zen, they say, everything is perfect in its imperfection.
...and your right about perspective- it's like that sales promo poster, "Attitude determines altitude".
Too bad, my altitude lately has been below sea level.

Le Chitelier,
I think suicide is a cowards way out- Mrs Poly would never forgive me, and just the thought of someone else raising my kids would kill me.
Chaos is mans lot in life-
also the courage to overcome obstacles despite injury to body or psyche is the only way to live.
ah oh, now I'm talking my old positive outlook salesman schpeel.

hot spot- thanks for visiting.

Princess-
You are a great example of perkiness and positive energy- I need to spend more time on your site. (maybe it will rub off)

Captain, my Captain,
maybe I could come aboard as 1st mate or gunner, that would perk me up. I'd love to sail the seas...

Actually Mrs Poly's cousin owns the
original ship "Mutiny on the bounty" and keeps it out east on Long Island. He already offered me a spot on the ship that is out to sea for months at a time. The crew is made up of university students, mostly female. I said YES, YES-
Mrs P said NO FUCKING WAY!
...Oh well.

Theresa,
Yes! isn't it odd that we do persevere, no matter what. What is the alternative? ???
Living in a box is not my style.


WOW! You guys are great- You really make me feel soooo good by stopping by and commenting.
A BIG Poly hug to you all!

Polyman2 said...

Anytime Ice- I also want to direct people to your site. It's great for the head.

Anonymous said...

you hit me again.
right in the core.

for you, i wish the pain to diminish and the voices to silence.

for me, i wish the same.

starbender said...

How true!
How true!
Couldn't have
said it better
myself!
:)

ZooooM said...

Really great post. The pictures are so good with it.

Whenever I hear of a new cancer diagnosis in a friend, relative or even just an acquaintance, I think of things like this. Especially the pollution thing.

Yet, I'm the first one to laugh at the crazy tree huggers.

I'm not strong enough to fight the system. I lay here and take it.

jungle jane said...

Poly this post really struck a chord. this week i came face to face with pure evil. it shocked me rigid.

you know, i am so used to seeing evil like shite governments and war and borders and huge greedy corporations. i guess up to now i never realised that evil at a distance is so different to it happening to you personally.

nothing has hurt me, unsettled me, shocked me and made me feel so despairing as my personal brush with evil this week. seeing it first hand has truly made me want to find a nice rock to hide under forever. either that or tons of cotten wool...

Jango Fett said...

True.
Every good post.

Polyman2 said...

t- I used to be an activist, political, and environmental and it seemed to go nowwhere. There is so much apathy, I just gave up-even stopped reading the newspapers(don't watch TV news) and just dealt with my own little world.

This internet thing is a new outlet
for venting my outward fustration and I'm thrilled people are receptive to it (for what it's worth)...Thanks and bless you.

Cappy- Maybe this year I'll win her over- I'll keep you posted.

Star- Thanks, always nice to hear from you. Your site is another I want to direct people to.

EVERYBODY- CLICK ON STARBENDER!!!!


Zoom,
I've always shouted at the wall,
now I post on my site.
Thanks for coming by.


Jane-
I'm sorry to hear about this shit that happened to you. I wasn't aware of this, I'll have to hop over to your site. I hope you can get beyond this evil Jane, you are truly a good person.

Polyman2 said...

Jango- thanks...

Nurse,
Do I have to?
Well Alright. Guess I've been kind of depressing with this post.

Thanks, I needed that.

jin said...

I just found you.
I'll be back.
Brilliant post...I don't know what else to say...took my breath away.

Peace

Becky said...

Hey Poly- I just tagged you, check my blog to see what I mean.

Me said...

I agree with one of the other posters (Rue?) who said it depends on our definition of perfection. If we look at the messed up, crazily imperfect world and decide that that's faulty in some way then it's going to be seen as wrong. Chaos is "perfect", whatever the hell that word means. And everything in the world tragic or not takes place EXACTLY as it's supposed to.

jungle jane said...

oh i am fine. i am going to write a book about it one day...

Polyman2 said...

Jin,
I'm so happy you found your way over to my poly world. it's a pleasure to have you.
...and my dear, you flatter me. so I thank you.
...and if I have your breath- you have my heart. do return.

Becky,
you've been my teacher from the beginning- lead and I will follow.
I'd love to play tag.

Shannon- Maaaaaa. H & K XXXX
Sorry nothing new yet...I think I'm working on it.

Meredith,
Hi, if you agree with Rue, then your a friend to me.
I guess it's all in the eye of the beholder, so it could be said;
We are perfect in our imperfection;
...and you gave me something else to ponder...

Jane,
And I for one will buy the book,
when you write it.
You have the talent.

morbid misanthrope said...

Man, that's great. That old lady is so fucked up she can't even stay awake in public.

I've been there. Once I drank a fifth of rum before a movie and passed out when I got into the theater. I was only nine, though; I've gotten tougher since then.

Polyman2 said...

Morbid- Ha! Got me beat!
When I was 16, I drank a half gallon of Manochevitz grape wine;
they had to coax me down out of a tall Oak tree. I think that set the pace of my life.

Kyahgirl said...

Never been here before. Wow, what an awesome post.

:-)

Polyman2 said...

Kyahgirl,
thanks for the visit.

Jose said...

Damn!

This blog is gooood!
Keep it coming man. You've made a new devout reader.

Polyman2 said...

Jose, Thanks buddy, sometimes got to stand up and shout at the world.