The struggle in my mind ( my promise)

It's all an Illusion.

What is real and
what is not,
and all the spaces
in between,
in shades of gray and
black and white and
oh, there I go again.
I need to take something
to bring me back
to reality.
My mind is in
a bad place.


I long for diversion and excitement.

"I fear I have grown stagnant,"

he said, eyeing the thick rope draped across the chair

and then the overhead beam.

He took a long toke of the joint and exhaled slowly.

There was a time when you would dance before me

naked

with your long hair shimmering

in the moonlight and

I would take you in my arms and

kiss your lips so gently.

So young, sweet innocent eyes trusting my words...

my intentions, my promise;

"How I love you,"

...and you gave yourself to me totally
willingly.

I have never betrayed that trust.

...and yet,
from time to time
a passing thought
a fanciful fantasy causes me
to struggle with questions
of right and wrong,

and the temptations that besiege me.

because I am a man
and I will not yield.

Nor will I harm you

or myself,
nor damage what

we have built together,
for 20 years

for a whim.

Life's a beach

Nobody's perfect,

but why do we have to be subjected to it?

It is what they dangle in front of us in place of happiness.

Poly in the sky, with donuts-

Where is meaning?

HEADLESS BEHIND A GLASS

i am pure thought,
turned
toward you.

I miss you all...your all in my thoughts
xxx

Sorry, my friends I will be away for a while...take care.

For The Love of Money.

The heart of
all good,
and evil
that makes the world
go round,
and round

Like a dog
chasing
it's tail.
It is what
drives us
to do
what we do;

good or bad.

...and we can never

seem to get enough of it!

"Psssst! ...What if someday,

in the near future, we
run out of our bling? "

What will we do

when we're all
dried up?
resources all
gone...

and depression sets in?

But, humans truly are such a cool people...

In spite of lying cheating stealing

raping and murdering each other for
capital gains
and religious beliefs,

we truly are a benolevent species...

"Hey Poly- How's it hanging...? "


"Ah, GO FUCK YOURSELF!! "

We never learn,
do we?...

...BUT YET WE Strive
for something...
anything...
to say
we've been here..

Pssssst,
Poly's been here- X

Sex is good.

Sex is good.

Blogging is good for airing repressed

sexual thoughts and feelings.

Do you think Adam & Eve enjoyed more

than an apple together?

It seems there was an awful lot

of begetting in those early days
to populate the world
the way they did.

I did my part,
I begat all I could
in my early years.

How about you?

Any sowing of wild oats

on your farm?

It seems it's a rite of passage.

You know, the mating game,

hormone levels and shit.

Sex is natural;

No artificial ingredients,

additives, preservatives
food coloring, Viagra needed.

I feel sorry for those
who don't get it.

Can you imagine

Laura & George B.

in the sack?

Well, they did it at least
twice.

It must have been nice
and repressed.

Oh Poly- Don't start getting all political...
Let's just stick

to Sex...

Oh behave!
I mean love-

and sex;
not just dirty old
hog sex.

Sueee!

but love, with feelings and
the need to share pleasure
with someone special;
To put the rest of the world
to rest, and be human,
a mammal,
in the natural process of
procreation

and especially because
it feels
so damn good;

How could it be bad for you?

Pressure of Life

You can feel it
at the
base of your brain,

a dull throb,
an unending
painful pulsing
throbing headache.

Banging away...

but as serious
as a heart attack............................................that WILL NOT GO AWAY!

and there is a knocking at the door
and the phone is ringing and
the baby is crying and
you just want to
go back to bed
and start
all over
again.

It is the Pressure of life. holding us down
like gravity
Keeping us grounded
day after meaningless day

Oh, come on-
don't be so damn
self-rightious!
You have thoughts
also...

...and feelings
admit it!

and don'tcry;
"I'm so confused..."

Cause I got news for you, sister- we all are;
and we all have headaches.

There I said it.
and I feel better now.
The pain is subsiding,
for the moment.

Lets talk about you.
You know,
I could be an ax murderer or
something bizzarre, you
never know- do ya? but
after all-
let's all,
just be friends.

Right about now-
if you've stuck it out this far,
your probably wondering;
Hey! What's the fucks up with Poly?
Has he really lost it?

And I will answer most affectionately,
Hey! this is me when
I'm feeling most happy,
I miss you all.

Woman

I am her creation.

Molded and formed from an image,
born of a woman by the act of giving
that one final push that thrust me out
into this cold disquieting world to fend for myself, while
all I wish to do is crawl back into,
the sanctified womb, of the flesh
that is woman.

I need to feel...absorb
all that is the essence
of female.
In my mind, my body, my spirit;
I need... therefore, I strive
for the sanctuary
of her very being,

Skin on skin.

To experience the closeness,
I long to be inside her; losing myself
in the silky softness of that, which is her.
The smell, the taste, the feel of her body under mine
swaying to some primitive mesmeric rhythm.
The rush of sexual energy coursing through our bodies
crashing in waves

of exquisite ecstasy

She is an enigma to me.
I am in awe of her beauty,
her strength, her gracefulness,
and her extraordinary sexuality
which enthralls me...
and all that is her
in this
simple complexity
is woman

This and That,

I like to be babied,

I like when a woman

puts her arms around me

and cuddles up
real close

telling me everything

is going to
be all right.

I have an
unsatiable thirst

for milk,
at times

I envy the insane for

their not capable

of being
held responsible

for their actions.

Sometimes, my computer

hates me and refuses to function.

At times, I feel that

it mocks me

in my inferiority.

Someday, I will have to

unplug it
and watch

in delightful
ruinous detachment

it's light dissolving

to critical
black.

My Mother-in-law

dislikes me. She blames me

for her own failure

and the near poverty

of her life.

She knows her daughter

could have done

so much better,

with a man that

would revere her

as the queen mother

she is.

You know,

you wouldn't know
to look at me,
that I am
getting happy
once again,
and it seems that
this
ugly winter's

well-intentioned
mock-heroic
suicide alert
has been cancelled...

for the time being.

Thank you

for watching.

Letting It All Out

OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

That's right folks-
I'm off my fucking rocker!
I'm back and crazier than ever-
but who gives a flying Fuck?

It's busy, busy season
back at the store
and we're crankin!

Had an altercation
with a cocky contractor yesterday-
I was within inches of
sending him off to meet his maker.

You know- fists shaking
with fucking adrenalin-
waiting to connect and
all he had to do
was push one more button
and BAM!
but I think he
got the point that
I wasn't kidding
before fisticuffs, anyway
I am the manager...

Oh well.
You've probably noticed
that I'm getting
a little more
personal lately-
Anyway, what the hell!
Life is short,
and were among friends.

I figure I'll just
let it all
hang out. Well...
maybe not all-
don't want to
embarrasss myself
anymore
than I have to.

Been a little unplugged
these last few days,
so please bear with me, these next few months
are sure to be
heavy
(there's that 60's word again)
and I 'll try
my damnedest
to keep up
with all my friends.

Miss the old gang,
thanks for stopping by
and suffering through
my recent
boring ass tag-
sorry,
I hope you weren't
expecting too much
from old Poly.

Love Ya.

A-Z Tag , All about mwa

I've been tagged by Becky
(Bless her heart, she had faith in me)

Accent: Long Island, NY ish or so they say.

Booze of choice: Dewers Scotch. I've just developed a taste for it. Had it on the rocks at a Xmas party and the taste reminded me of something. Finally remembered; my mom used to dab it on my teeth when I was a little teething Poly.

Chore I hate: Raking leaves.

Dog or cat: Dog.

Essential electronics: Car radio/CD, House radio/CD, Ipod, Computer!!!!

Favorite cologne: Just a light after shave cream from the Dead Sea, or whatever hasn't gone bad in my cabinet from disuse when I go out. Something manly smelling.

Gold or silver: Silver.

Hometown: East Islip, LI, NY: Have lived all over NY State. Once- 11 places in 10 years.

Insomnia?: From time to time. Had it bad when I was running my own Co. A few yrs back.

Job Title: Present- Branch Manager for irrigation and landscape lighting store.
I was a busy night club & party DJ for 20 years while working in electronic parts sales during the day. Ran my own Electronic Parts Company for 8 years, then closed it after 9/11 with $400,000 in the red & paying it off.

Kids: Girl 12, boy 7. Maybe a few more scattered about NY from earlier carnal encounters.

Living arrangement: Own own house with 1/2 acre property butted by woods.
LI sound, 2 blocks away.

Most admired trait(s): My sense of humor, green eyes, nice hair, Gemini personality.
Like people.

Number of sexual partners: Only my wife for 20 years. Many, in between marriages.

Overnight hospital stays: none.

Phobia: Unruly crowds. Fear of being unwanted.

Quote: "Your never alone with a Gemini", and
"when you think you have them eating out of your hand- count your fingers".

Religion: Grew up unbaptized, father Italian catholic who lost his religion during WWII, mother German/Russian Jew made up her own religion as she went along.
I studied Catholicism, Jehovah witness, Hare christna, but got baptized a Methodist so Mrs P & I could get married in a church. (My first was in a park under a big tree).
I believe in the light that is the spark of life, and nature holds the key to the creator.

Siblings: 1 older and 1 younger sister.

Time I wake up: 5:00AM

Unusual talent/skill: They say I write well. Have McGiver type creative survival skills,
and I am good with my tongue.

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Brussel Sprouts.

Worst habit: I am a nail biter, even though lately I prefer tearing up my cuticles.

X-Rays: When a boy- every other month. Had scrapes, sprains, tears, broken bones, concussions.

Yummy foods I make: Spanish Orrios Compio, any egg dish. A spicy sauce.

Zodiac sign: Do you need to ask? Gemini to the "T".


Now I'm suppose to tag some people:

icecoldcoke
Morbid misanthrope, oh yeah-
starbender

Oh, I don't know.

What can I say?

been too heavy lately.

Got to chill...

These are funny.

I miss you all...

later.

Was going to do a
Mrs Poly thing for this
pic,
but don't think

she'd find it
humorous.

It's All Too Heavy!

Sometimes, life is
a state
of utter confusion.

I look around
and all I see is chaos
and total disarray.

How do you make order out of chaos?


There is order in nature,
but not in mans nature.




We draw lines on maps
separating countries- states- towns
and our own property
hoping that
our imaginary borders will keep
the undesirables out-
then we discover-
we are the undesirables.




We elect officials to govern us
that can't even get
their own houses in order.

Those that get caught cheating get pardoned.

others keep on lining their pockets at our expense.

Our factories spew tons of pollution out

into the air & water

and bury their timebombs

in our hallowed ground

and then, when cornered,

flee to relocate in some third world country

leaving us

to foot the bill.

Then our cities are destroyed

and we declare war on the wrong enemy

and turn friends to foes

and turn our children

into indiscriminate

killers of everything

that's not sanctioned
by the church,

and our senior citizens

gobble their medications

and pray for solace,

but instead

get mugged

at their Gods altar.

We are so busy ,

busy being busy.
Days turn to weeks;

weeks to months

months to years and

I never thought I

would have lived

this long,

and I... sometimes feel like

I can't continue.